Dec 30: 2007's @$&*# Moments in Alaska Politics
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In 2007, there we're plenty of @$&*# moments in Alaska politics.
With a glass raised to toast the New Year, we take a look back at a few examples that validate the old Groucho Marx quip, "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies." Cheers!
Lt. Governor Sean Parnell speaking to a crowd of oil & gas industry executives, trying to explain the bright side of the $1.5 billion dollar tax hike he supported. It will provide you with fiscal stability, Parnell reportedly stated.
That's like sub prime mortgage lenders saying, "Oh yeah your rate doubled, but at least you know what you owe us every month."
Governor Sarah Palin announcing her ground breaking new education plan, which had been ripped off from the just released Legislative Task Force on Education. The governor had nothing to do with the creation of the plan, but presented it to the public as her own.
As a journalism major, the governor should know about the no no's of Plagiarism.
Former State Representative Tom Anderson after he was found guilty of several counts of corruption, saying "the jury has just criminalized being a lawmaker."
Yes Tom, if it wasn't for those meddling FBI agents, all that audio and video evidence they gathered of you breaking the law and a jury of your peers, you'd be at home right now instead of Federal Prison.
State Senator Lesil McGuire who denied leaving thinly veiled threats on the voice mail of the wife of a government witness who was schedule to testify against her husband, former State Representative Tom Anderson. Two days later voice mail tapes were released that proved the threatening calls occurred.
No explanation from McGuire, however "the cell phone company has just criminalized leaving a voice mail", seems to be a historically accurate response.
State Representative Les Gara on the recent oil tax legislation that increased taxes by whopping $1.5 billion; "In this building it's the best we could do."
Translation: If we only had more lawmakers who knew less about the economy and more about killing the golden goose we could have taxed these guys right out of Alaska.
Speaker of the House John Harris just hours after strongly supporting the new oil tax increase proposed by the governor. "The Governor and her administration have crafted a bill and pushed it through the Legislature that will either tap the producers for another $1.5 billion without harm, or end up hurting our economy by driving away oil industry investment. I am hopeful the Governor has not made a serious mistake with this legislation."
This is like a philandering husband blaming his infidelity on his wife because she forced him to cheat. Note to Rep. Harris: You are responsible for your own actions.
State Representative Carl Gatto reflecting on his past life before a critical vote, "I was a homesteader - absolutely miserable homesteader - complete failure - put every nickel into it, didn't get a penny out of it. Slaved away- just couldn't do it - just total failure - you do what you have to do - you fail at something, go do something different."
So after failing to manage a piece of raw land, Gatto is now managing oil taxes and natural gas pipeline policy for Alaska.
Governor Sarah Palin who crashed a local talk radio show interview and instigated an unscheduled live debate with yours truly over government subsidies.
Governor Palin: Consider your request in the past for a lot of government assistance in the car rental business with the parking garage that is now built at the airport.
Halcro: Whoa Governor, you are way in over your head. Please don't speak about anything you don't know about because the car rental parking garage was the first privately financed and funded project of its kind in the country....and in addition governor I might add that my industry is one of the very few that pays a state sales tax. So please, save your lectures on the private sector for when you actually have some experience in the private sector.
The moral? Don't start a war of words when you're unarmed.
Former State Representative Vic Kohring who was found guilty of conspiracy, bribery and attempted extortion. Over the last few years Kohring opined in several opinion columns about how "many politicians were influenced by special interests" and how Alaska "in many ways, has become almost as controlled and bureaucratic as the former USSR".
Little did we know that by "many politicians" he meant himself and by "the former USSR", Kohring meant Lord Baranoff Suite 604 in Juneau.
Former State Representative Pete Kott who was found guilty of conspiracy and bribery charges. Kott was caught on FBI surveillance tapes complaining to Bill Allen that instead of taking sleeping bills he accidentally took Viagra.
Even though it's not a surprise because Kott obviously couldn't tell right from wrong to begin with, he better learn the difference between Excedrin P.M. and Viagra pretty quickly. Somehow I don't think prison is going to be that understanding of an environment.
The Valley Frontiersman whose August editorial on Matanuska Maid was written through the lens of an empty milk carton.
“Today, under this new leadership, Mat Maid is running leaner and meaner and is in the black for the first time since 2005...the dairy actually made money in June, it also expects to show a profit in July"..... seven days later the all-Valley Creamery Board retracted their profit pronouncement and announced the largest financial loss at Mat Maid in over twenty years.
Later the Frontiersman announced "Dewey defeats Truman".
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